Yesterday’s post was short but clear.  For you to be happy you must learn to genuinely forgive yourself.  But how?  Previously I wrote this article which explains why we must forgive everyone, no matter what.  It explains that every mistake you have ever made was consistent with your level of evolution at that time.  Living in shame and regret only pulls your energy down and makes it impossible to heal.  Instead choose to identify with truth.  You were born with vulnerabilities.  Your body and mind were built to make mistakes.  Give yourself a brake!  Everyone makes mistakes, everyone sins.  Play with this idea for just a minute– what if the whole point of life is to learn how to identify your weaknesses and then heal these weaknesses.  It this is true, than life would be meaningless without mistakes and sin.  Throughout this process of identifying weaknesses and healing yourself, remember to do so gently and lovingly.

You might think;

“but I always make the same terrible choices, even though I know better!  Why should I forgive myself?”

“I’ve tried and failed 17 times to quit smoking, I’ll never succeed…”

“Pornography is just plain stronger than me.  Even when I know I’m about to slip again, it seems like I can’t even stop myself… why should I forgive myself when I clearly don’t deserve it…?”

“I’ve hurt so many people with my gossip…”

“I’m so selfish, if I don’t feel guilty, I’ll never be able to change…”


Although it feels like all these thoughts are real, nothing could be further from the truth.  Trying to overcome weaknesses while fostering shame and regret is like leaving the emergency brake on while driving your car.

Here is the deal.  Energy only functions in the now– in the present moment.  When your mind and emotions wander to the past where regret was created, you actually subconsciously recreate the event.  You recreate all the mistakes from the past, but you live them again in the present moment.  The now is your only point of power.  In other words, you never tried and failed to quit smoking- 17 different energetic versions of you did.  But the you that exists energetically and spiritually, at this current level of understanding and evolution, has never existed before.  Live in the now!  The old mistakes? That’s old, you are new, move on.

Remember you are a spiritual being having a physical experience on Earth.  Part of that physical experience is inheriting tendencies and weaknesses. But those tendencies and those weaknesses are not you, they are part of what you were given to experience and learn to heal, but the real you is the divine aspect of you that exists within.  The real you lives in the now.

So realize that there is absolutely zero chance of inheriting a body and system of beliefs as perfect as your spirit is.  You inherited all sorts of bad-decision genes when you were born.  Then you innocently watched those around you pass their beliefs on to you while you tried to figure out this Earthly experience.  It is not your fault that you have weaknesses.  However, it is your responsibility.  The law of cause and effect says that you will experience all the consequences of all your choices.  Those consequences are there to help you decide to make better decisions.  The guilt, regret, and shame has no place in empowered change– it only makes you recreate the past over and over again, debilitating your spirit that is trying to help you make better choices.  If you don’t like the consequences of your choices, than the only way to heal is by letting go of guilt, regret, and shame, and deciding to live in the present moment.

That’s old.  I’m new.  Move on.


11 Responses to How Do I Forgive Myself?

  1. Diana Saxe says:

    This page is very encouraging. I have always looked forward to living each day and anxious to see what the future holds. I am looking forward to finding my self and moving forward toward divinity. God speed. Thank you.


    • Charles Parson says:

      Thank you so much for this insight reguarding forgiveness. It seems that shame and guilt have been destroyers in many lives. I realize that I don’t have to live that way any more. I’m much better than that! Thank You! Thank YOU! THANK! YOU!

  2. […] is so important to learn to love yourself.  This is the fourth and last article in this series.  Step 1: How do I forgive myself?  Step 2:  How do I find genuine […]

  3. Mary says:

    Thank you so much for this very encouraging and very timely or untimely article, as the case may be. This information couldn’t have happened at a more desparately destitute time in my feelings or desire to forgive someone who is very dear to me. I still need to learn to forgive in my heart and head, nevermind my energy. I’d say, however, this has happened at this time for a very good reason, as it has somewhat softened my stance already and that is amazing for what is going on with me. Again, thank you! If I can find out how to forward an email w/an attachment, all those close to me will receive the information, also, and hopefully this will help them, also.

    • Steve says:

      Thank you Mary, that was beautiful. You are welcome to share the article with as many people as you’d like.

  4. Kim says:

    Awwww! That’s exactly what I needed to read…Thank you
    so much for writing in such a beautiful simplistic way a person can really inderstand it so completly! I also want to thank Donna for refering me to this awesome website!!! Also I want to thank her for her wonderful suggestions and wisdom so I can come toward my goal’s…
    Thank you, to all you Angels…

    • Steve says:

      I’d like to thank Donna too! I’m not sure who that is, but it brings me joy to know that people are being referred to my site, and that so many people are benefiting. Thank you for taking the time to comment Kim!

  5. Kim says:

    Ooops I read the article on “Forgiveness”

  6. Junior Tumare says:

    sometimes we find it difficult to forgive ourselves…but that is only when we come to accept and realize that that the so-called failures are actually our strenght that we come to trully forgive..
    Great stuff…

  7. Kevin says:

    Thank you. I needed that. It’s like getting to an old buried and infected splinter – hurts bad but feels so good to get it out!

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